Rainy day dreaming…

I’m in!

The movers have come and gone, all the paperwork has been exchanged, some boxes have even been unpacked. Now I am dreaming of getting to my desk and doing the work that I moved here to do. All that stands in my way…. is a mountain of boxes.

It seemed perfectly logical when the movers suggested it: To keep clutter to a minimum and keep chaos contained, whatever they didn’t know what to do with, they would put in my office.

Now my office resembles a storage locker and my desk is buried somewhere on the far side of the pile. Sigh…

Even the best bits of life seldom turn out exactly as we expect them to. I’m grateful to have the Grief Recovery process to help me find my way through. xo

A new nest…

I found a new nest.

That means I won’t be living with friends and family this summer. It means instead that I can get started on my new life. It also means saying goodbye to a good number of the things that I have lovingly accumulated these past 15 years as I feathered my nest here.

The new place is small. One third the size of the floorspace I have here to be exact… not counting the workshop and garage spaces and all the tools therein.

I can hear the tsk’ers now saying:

“things don’t matter, people do”.

Which really means: “Don’t feel bad”, “Don’t grieve”

To those tsk’ers I say:


It’s okay to admit that things matter. Things that share our lives become imbued with memories and parting with them can be as bittersweet as parting with the friends and neighbours we have come to know and love.

Grieving is a messy and unpredictable thing. When a loved one dies we can find ourselves dry-eyed and unmoved through the funeral but days later, bawling helplessly over their stinky sock drawer. So it is with moving. The friends who are real and true will remain friends and we will bridge the new distance, so it doesn’t always feel sad to think about moving away from them. But some piece of art or furniture that I hunted for, saved for and now have to leave behind… That part of the packing process can bring feelings of real sadness as I say goodbye to the dreams that I had of living with and enjoying those pieces.

Grief is seldom what we expect it to be. I’m grateful to have the Grief Recovery process to help me find my way through. xo

And now… for the grief that comes with change.

When I launched Grief Recovery Ontario I expected to live and work in Trent Hills and serve the people here.  But launching a new business is a lot like bringing home a new baby.   It takes commitment and stamina and 36 hour days.

Trying to launch the business on my own while living in a big old house on a large property was just more than I could manage. For a year I hired help and juggled schedules and still, exhaustion won out.   Something had to give, so I put my house on the market.  

Quicker than I ever imagined possible, the house sold.  Moments ago I learned that the deal is firm. I will be out of here on April 25th.   That gives me 3 weeks to sort and pack and move.   To where, I don’t know yet. I may well spend the summer bouncing from family to friend while I look.   

I will miss the people that I have come to love here but I’m looking forward to the new and that’s what grief is.  That tangle of old and new, sad and excited, anticipation and dread.  

I’ll keep you posted.  xox

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