Catherine Mitchell

Friendships, like the strands of a spider’s web, add strength to the web of our lives … and when we lose them, we grieve. 

We make our first friends in our neighbourhoods and then in schools and later at places of work or through family and social connections.  We may not notice when an acquaintance, or coworker crosses that threshold and becomes a real friend but we feel it when they’re gone.    

And it doesn’t matter why they’re absent either.   Away on an extended vacation, or taking a semester of school…. if you’re out of touch you feel the loss in your life.  Maybe you were the one who ended the relationship because you realized that they weren’t who you thought they were, or that their lifestyle isn’t good for your mental health.   None of that matters.  Losing ties to the people who support or used to support us, hurts.

Whether you have lost your friend forever, or just lost touch, please be gentle with yourself.

They may have helped you through Covid or a tough chapter in life, you may have been lifelong friends, or simply the neighbours who waved to each other every day and said Hi.

No matter what the breadth or depth of the connection, there was a connection… and now there is not.  Let yourself grieve.

Admit that you’re hurting or angry, or whatever else you may be feeling.

… and if you need help with the feels, call me. 

Grief Recovery teaches adults what to do with all the big feels.  xox

Fun, Love, Excitement, Adventure, Laughter, Memories… Time.

There are dozens of intangibles that we lose when someone we love dies.

… and in the summer when everyone seems to be talking about all those intangible things and the places they’ll go to find them, the contrast of being newly alone, seems to make a hard time feel even harder…. even the commercials on television seem intent upon reminding us what we’re missing.

This summer, whether it’s your first alone, or just another, please be gentle with yourself.  Look back at your early years and notice the things that brought you joy, way back when.  Maybe one or two of those things are within your grasp this year.    This summer may not look like the one you thought you’d have but you can make it your own.

Pick out one small thing that you’d really like to do while the weather is good.    Figure out whether you can manage it alone, or whether you need to call a friend.   Don’t give up on enjoying the things that make you happy just because your life doesn’t look like the one you imagined.

Your happiness is worth fighting for.   xox

Father’s Day can be unexpectedly hard on widows.       While everyone is making a fuss about how great he was and telling stories about how much they “miss dad” and “miss grandpa” the pain that widows feel is often overlooked.

Whether she’s a mother or a grandmother, there’s no doubt, she’s feeling far more than you realize.   She’s missing her husband and partner and she probably feels that reminding you of that, seems like getting into a tug-of-war over who gets to be the saddest…

The world tells us to “be strong for our kids” but when you’re grieving, that’s bad advice.   It gives the people around you the impression that you’ve got strength to loan them, at a time when you’re barely hanging on yourself.   

If you’re a widow, make some time for yourself this Father’s Day weekend.  Take some private time to remember your partner in parenting and time to grieve what you lost.   Don’t overload yourself with “being there for the kids”

… and if you’re one of “the kids” missing your dad or your grandpa this Father’s Day weekend.  Remember to give your mom and grandma extra hugs.

You’re all missing someone special. 

xoxo

Adults don’t talk about it.   Mostly, they bully each other into silence about it… but the truth is, the first days and weeks at a new job, are scary.   They may be exciting too!  … but they’re scary for sure.

Will you fit in?

Will it work out?

Will you find friends there?…

It’s like the first days of high school all over again… and especially if high school wasn’t a safe or great place for you… the first days at your new job can feel overwhelming.

Feeling unsafe is one of the most commonly misunderstood examples of grief in adults.    Every over-controlling and weird thing that you’ve ever seen an adult do… is just them trying to get, or get back, some sense of safety and certainty in their lives.   

So if you’re starting a new job soon, please be gentle with yourself.

Emotional safety deserves to be treated with as much care and respect as physical safety.

Your feels are real.  xox

Downsizing, organizing and moving… selling, giving away and saying goodbye to your treasures.  Whether you’re ready to be done with a big house or life has made a choice for you, grief is a normal part of moving.

It’s easy to understand that grief when life chooses a path for you but it can take you by surprise when you choose to move and find that grief has tagged along for the ride.   

Even when you’re excited about your new home and thought you’d looked at every aspect of the move, it’s inevitable that there will be aspects of your new arrangement that you didn’t anticipate.  Or couldn’t.  Understanding that grief follows change, allows you to give yourself the time to feel what comes up.

As you sort and pack, leave time for revisiting old memories.  And leave room to be surprised by the things that bring up memories!    Give yourself time to let go of the dreams that may or may not have come true in your old space.

Leaving behind old tools and possessions can feel like you’re leaving a part of yourself behind.   Even when you’re ready to give up the responsibilities, letting go of the satisfaction you used to get from fixing, creating or entertaining is a big deal.  Don’t let anyone tell you different. 

Unpacking and finding that you don’t have space for a favourite object also brings feelings of grief.   There are dozens of changes associated with downsizing.   Do your best to remember that this stuff is real and happens to us all.  Make space for yourself to feel.   

Whether you’re choosing to give things up, or feel like the choice has been made for you, there will be grief.   

Be gentle with yourself and know that it will take time to let go, to settle in and to find the rhythms of your new space.

xo

Life is hard work.  

Whether you’re working to make life better, or just working to keep up, Life takes work.  Feeling overwhelmed by loss, grief or disappointment can make it hard to get up every day and do that work.

Whether we’ve been hit by one big loss or a string of smaller ones, everyone feels grief at some point in their life.    Yet far too often, just as we’re beginning to catch our breath after a loss, we’re told to “March Forward” without care or concern for whether we are ready yet.

Tired, exhausted, hurt, angry or afraid, we’re told to “Act Happy, Be Happy”, “Patch Yourself Up and Keep Going” because “The show must go on!”

… and what a show it is. 

The parade of life continues and the people in our lives march happily along, as long as we keep our fake smiles in place.

Unfortunately, no one has ever healed a broken heart by denying that it exists.

Fake smiles mask broken hearts and what grieving hearts need most, is a chance to heal, with whatever time, tools and compassionate support they need.

It is up to each of us to decide when we’re going to step out of the world’s parade and let our own mental and emotional health, lead us forward. 

Grief Recovery is here for you, when you’re ready to heal.   xox

Valentine’s Day is yet another opportunity for the world to say:  “Everyone Else is Happily Paired up” … and if you’re not paired up, or no longer paired up… (Or you’re Unhappily paired up!)  life can feel particularly harsh and lonely this month.    Please be gentle with yourself as the 14th approaches.

When it feels like your heart has broken into a thousand tiny pieces with only the thinnest band, holding you together, the smallest thing can feel like one too many.

This month, please give yourself as much gentle kindness are you can.

Your heart has been through enough. 

 xoxo

“Happy New Year!”

Will 2026 be a happy year for you?  

Every year has the potential to be a happy one but regardless of the intentions we have and the resolutions we make on January 1st, every year is guaranteed to include at least a little joy and a little pain. Even if it is a year full of fabulous firsts, there is bound to be changes that bring loss and maybe grief because loss and grief are each a part of life. 

We get a new job… and leave our old friends.

We move to a new place… and miss the old familiar.

We meet someone… and miss the time we used to spend on ourselves.

We lose someone… and we miss a million little things we never knew we would.

Day in and day out, grief and joy are intimately tied together by the flow of life. 

What makes a year a good one, is our ability to move past the losses, the griefs and the sadness.

What makes a joyful person, is their willingness to do the work required, to get past those things.

When we are unwilling or unable to confront our grief, it leaves us unable to access the joy in our lives and life becomes a drab existence in the mucky middle-ground.

Whether you are unable because you do not have the tools, or because you need better emotional supports, Grief Recovery can help.   

People think that Grief Recovery is only for those who have been hobbled by grief… but it’s also for those, who simply want more Joy.  

This year, get the tools you need and do the work with the support you deserve.

Learn how to recover your joy…
… or maybe discover it for the first time. 

Make 2026 the Happiest year you’ve ever known…

What do you do when you feel alone during the holiday season?   Or worse, when you’re around people who tell you that you “shouldn’t feel alone” and that “you’re not alone”. …. in spite of the fact that you Do Actually Live Alone!

The answer is:  you be kind to yourself and honest with yourself.  (and stay away from those people)

Emotions are Messy and the holiday season is chock-full of triggers for emotions, there’s no doubt about it… and there’s also no doubt, that you feel what you feel.   Even when other folks don’t like it.

There will always be folks who want us to tidy up and hide our emotions instead of showing them.  They don’t want to, or don’t have the tools to deal honestly with emotions and would rather that we put ours away, rather than remind them of what is still unsettled and messy in this world.  So do your best to stay away from those folks… and do your best to be honest with yourself this holiday season.

If you feel like crying, have a cry.

If you’re tired, have a nap.

There is very little this holiday season that won’t survive you taking a bit of time for yourself.

Treat yourself gently.

Treat yourself well.

… and tell the truth about how you’re feeling.

Your feels are real.

Everything else is just a bandaid to cover what other folks don’t want to deal with…

xox

No one wants to see a kid hurting but the truth is, life brings bumps and bruises and loss … and kids get hurt just like adults do.

Unfortunately, too many of us grew up in homes where children’s losses and children’s hurts were mocked and minimized.  We were told that we’d know what real hurt felt like when we grew up…  If that’s what you were told, you may never have seen healthy examples of how to heal, or even how to express your hurts appropriately.

So how do you help your kids when they’re hurting now?

How do you do better than your parents did?

The truth is, you can’t help your kids if you don’t know how to help yourself because kids learn by watching us.    

Grief Recovery teaches adults the steps to take to heal from disappointment, heartbreak and loss, so that parents, teachers and grandparents can show their kids how to live healthy lives and help them heal when life delivers it’s inevitable bumps, bruises and heartbreaking losses. 

      xoxoxox