November is for Remembering…

November 11th is Veteran’s Day in the US and Remembrance Day in Canada.

It is the day that we remember those who gave their all in the world wars.

 

This year I would ask you to dare to remember others in November as well.

Remember yourself and all that you’ve been through in the last few years…. 

Remember your first taste of the covid years,

Remember those you lost to it.

Remember those we lost who could not be memorialize because of covid.

 

Do you remember what it was like when you thought you knew what your future looked like?

Remember the jobs and businesses we lost.

 

We have all felt things that went unsaid these last few years. 

We have all been through the wringer.

 

Make this November-remembering, your stepping-stone to self-care and kindness and self-compassion.

 

… and be gentle with yourself.  xoxoxo

 

 

 

Thanksgrieving…

What a craptastic few years this has been.
 
Masks, lockdowns, restrictions, many of us spent months stranded and starving for human touch.  Whether from covid or other, people died and the ancient comforts of touch and tears and gathering ritual were out of reach.   People lost their jobs and some lost their businesses.  
 
The world changed and we were changed along with it. 
 
As we near Thanksgiving 2022 I find myself searching through the wreckage of my life for what I gained and lost, what I am grateful for and what I feel sorrow about.  This is what Grief Recovery has taught me to do.   I tell the truth, I sift and sort and weigh and measure… then I celebrate the wins and grieve the losses.
 
This weekend, whether you are alone or with others, I wish you peace and health and if possible, moments of joy.
 
We have survived everything life has thrown at us so far.  xoxo
 

 

 
“A bend in the road is not the end of the road”
 
 

 

September…

September always feels like the start of a new year to me but this year it feels particularly new and fresh.    I landed in Durham one year before covid took hold of our world and in the spring of 2019 I was full of hope and expectation.  I thought I was turning the page onto an “easy-peasy” chapter in life.
 
Family drama was followed by death and more drama, which was followed by business drama and change after change after change, as covid shook our world.  Pivot, pivot, pivot, I changed, adjusted, adapted and tried new things.    I survived my move here, family and business drama and covid… but all at a cost.   This summer I took time to slow down and rest.
 
Now it’s September again and I’m feeling the push to be out in the world, to try new things again… to step into the busy, exciting, chapter I expected 3 years ago.  Only time will tell where it takes me. 
 
Whatever the gap between your hopes and dreams and what life actually delivers, I hope you will always be gentle with yourself and occasionally allow yourself to rest, take stock and grieve.
xoxo

 

Canada Day…

Canada Day.

… a long weekend …

post covid or mid covid.  (No one knows for certain yet…)

What you know is that you’ve lost someone and life feels immeasurably changed.

Please be gentle with yourself, you deserve kindness.

xoxoxox

It’s not a race…

We are put on this earth for an unknowable amount of time…   Covid has confirmed for me that many of us are squandering far too much of the time we have here.

At the end of life, people often regret working too hard, being too serious, overlooking the fun bits.

What will you regret?

Why not change now while you still have time?

xox

3 years later…

Three years ago I packed my bags and moved to Oshawa.  
… as often happens, that first year was nothing like I expected.
 
Just as I was getting my feet under me, covid arrived and it changed the world,
… and then it changed it again and again and again.
 
It has been an exhausting and tumultuous 3 years.
 
As Ontario drops masking requirements and occupancy limitations, the world is once again beginning to look like it did when I arrived here.  It feels like everything and nothing has changed…
 
As things shake out and we find our new normal I’m looking forward to meeting you in person.
… stay tuned for details of times and places and classes and schtuff.   xox

 

Grief and hope… or not

There are those who believe that hope is the saviour of all.

And yet… sometimes it is the act of losing the last shred of hope, that propels us to change.   It is only when we have no hope left that we finally give up on magic solutions and begin to act in ways that were unthinkable while we still hoped things would turn around.

As a teacher, Labour Day always held more meaning for me than New Years Day but even so,  I’ve always watched to see what each new year would hold and until this year, I’ve always had hope that the new year would bring bright and shiny things.   

But this year my hope is gone.   Covid used it up.    I am dreading cold and flu season this year because it will bring terror to people who fear that it’s so much more.   I dread the news reports and the possible return of restrictions.   I dread the fighting and acrimony that has risen up around covid, it’s precautions and the vaccines.  

I don’t see a bright and shiny future ahead even though there will likely be one.   Because no matter what we feel on our darkest days, the future usually turns out bright.  

Right now, from where I sit, the brightest possibility I can imagine is the possibility that this might be our last year of fighting this pandemic.  Much more clearly I foresee the ravages left behind once covid packs it’s bag and moves on.   I see people bruised from this pandemic .   I see that our system has been broken and that it needs to change and I see a whole lot of turmoil as we build something new.

I see a mess coming and from that mess, hopefully something healthier.

So maybe I have hope after all.  xox

Stay well.   xoxo

 

I wish you kindness…

It has been a long, hard two years.

Covid has changed the world and folks are stretched thin.

Each time covid surges tempers become shorter and folks behave badly.

(as folks always will, when stretched too thin for too long…)

 

I do not know what the future holds, or how long covid will continue but as this year winds down I wanted to wish you Kindness.

Until the world rights itself again and we can all walk together without fear, I hope you find pockets of kindness that fill your soul.

xoxo

Words matter…

When you look at the picture above, you might see a tranquil path.   Or you might see the dark and terrifying unknown.   Whatever you see and feel is yours, there is no right or wrong here.

I have run into a few people lately, who want to edit the way we talk about covid, as though there is only one right way.    They say:  “the words we use matter!”   and they are right.   But in thinking that they know What the Right words are… they are wrong.

 

When we talk about a spat between friends as if it were war, we may be adding tension and chaos to a situation that could be easily resolved.

But when we do the opposite, when we call war a skirmish, or peacekeeping, or a conflict, we minimize the pain and terror of those who are engaged in the battle.

Sometimes, diminishing a thing with our words is the very best thing we can do, to help us get through a tough time.

Other times it diminishes the work and fear and struggle that we put in.

 

Whether healthcare and other essential workers are on the front line of a war… or whether they are simply doing their job, can only be determined by each individual.   Only they know what it costs them to go to work each day… only they know how it has or will change the course of their lives.

Events like this pandemic, can change the course of history.   They can change how our jobs, lives, marriages and finances move forward…   They can change things drastically for the good and catastrophically for the bad.   Only those who are touched by each, have the right to say what it was for them.

Please stop speaking for others.

Please stop assuming you know what anything is like for anyone other than yourself.

Own your fears, pains and your triumphs equally.

You have lived and you deserve respect and recognition for every step that you’ve been through.

So does everyone else.

xox

 

 

Suddenly it’s September…

Suddenly it’s September and the heat of summer is fading.  Vacations are winding down while school and work are ramping up again.   It seems surreal that covid stopped the world, changed our plans and ate, the better part of two years.

As we lurch back into the routines of work and life I wish you all the best that life has to offer.   After living through covid I understand better why our ancestors began celebrating birthdays and milestones, I understand better how fragile life can be and the importance of celebrating the wins.

No matter what you’re doing this September, please be gentle with yourself.

Celebrate the wins.

xoxoxoxo

 

 

 

 

 

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