Month: November 2020

I was recently invited into a conversation about the difference between Faith and Hope.

Although I declined to explore the topic when invited, today I realized what the difference is for me.

First let me say that I think Faith, Belief, Hopes and Dreams are all quite uniquely defined for each person.   Each of us weighs them a little differently and prioritizes the importance of them according to our own heart and understanding.

In Grief Recovery we talk about the grief that comes when life changes and our Hopes, Dreams or Expectations die unrealized.

I realized today, that Hope is what I hold, when I have no Faith.

Hope in the unlikely, is often the glimmer of light that keeps me stepping forward when I’d otherwise curl up and give up.

I have Faith that CoVid will end one day.
I have Faith that I will hug my loved ones one day.

I had Hoped it would be this year.
I had Hoped that the pundits were wrong and that we wouldn’t have a second wave.
I had Hoped that what we’d done to flatten the curve, was going to be enough.

It wasn’t. It isn’t…

We’re in the midst of an enormous second wave… and I am grieving, for the hope that has died and for the hugs, that are still very, very far away.  xoxo

Microwaves, GPS, Duct Tape, Crazy Glue

Epi Pens, Blood Banks and Transfusions…  

Inventions that feed us, find us, keep things together and keep us alive

a lot of what we take for granted

exists now because of war.

For those who have been blessed to live their lives in free and safe conditions, Remembrance Day can seem far removed from the realities of daily life.    Yet every day we take advantage of technologies that came to us, through wartime innovation.    There have been countless medical and scientific advances born on battlefields… but very few that advanced our standards of mental and emotional care.

We who live in peace, have the luxury of time and safety to heal our wounds but most of us were never taught how.    Instead we fall back on emergency coping skills that were never meant to be used long term.  

Don’t Be Sad

Be Strong

Stay Busy

Give it Time

Replace the Loss

… and if none of that works …

Grieve Alone

These old standards are useful for coping, moving forward and feeling sane when we are in the midst of tragic and dangerous circumstances but if you are reading this, you probably aren’t in tragic and dangerous circumstances.  

It’s time to quit using coping skills and get on with healing the mental and emotional wounds we all carry.

The Grief Recovery Method teaches people how to quit coping and get on with life.   It teaches people how to talk honestly about what they’re feeling, how to listen respectfully when others talk and then, it teaches small actions that when followed,  lead to healing.

We do not honour our vets by acting as if we are at war.

We honour our vets by living the best life we possibly can.

That’s what they risked their lives to give us.

To all the soldiers and vets both home and abroad: Thank you.  

To the rest of you:

Listen.  Talk.   Stay Open.   Heal.

These are the privileges that soldiers have risked their lives to give us.