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Adults don’t talk about it.   Mostly, they bully each other into silence about it… but the truth is, the first days and weeks at a new job, are scary.   They may be exciting too!  … but they’re scary for sure.

Will you fit in?

Will it work out?

Will you find friends there?…

It’s like the first days of high school all over again… and especially if high school wasn’t a safe or great place for you… the first days at your new job can feel overwhelming.

Feeling unsafe is one of the most commonly misunderstood examples of grief in adults.    Every over-controlling and weird thing that you’ve ever seen an adult do… is just them trying to get, or get back, some sense of safety and certainty in their lives.   

So if you’re starting a new job soon, please be gentle with yourself.

Emotional safety deserves to be treated with as much care and respect as physical safety.

Your feels are real.  xox

Downsizing, organizing and moving… selling, giving away and saying goodbye to your treasures.  Whether you’re ready to be done with a big house or life has made a choice for you, grief is a normal part of moving.

It’s easy to understand that grief when life chooses a path for you but it can take you by surprise when you choose to move and find that grief has tagged along for the ride.   

Even when you’re excited about your new home and thought you’d looked at every aspect of the move, it’s inevitable that there will be aspects of your new arrangement that you didn’t anticipate.  Or couldn’t.  Understanding that grief follows change, allows you to give yourself the time to feel what comes up.

As you sort and pack, leave time for revisiting old memories.  And leave room to be surprised by the things that bring up memories!    Give yourself time to let go of the dreams that may or may not have come true in your old space.

Leaving behind old tools and possessions can feel like you’re leaving a part of yourself behind.   Even when you’re ready to give up the responsibilities, letting go of the satisfaction you used to get from fixing, creating or entertaining is a big deal.  Don’t let anyone tell you different. 

Unpacking and finding that you don’t have space for a favourite object also brings feelings of grief.   There are dozens of changes associated with downsizing.   Do your best to remember that this stuff is real and happens to us all.  Make space for yourself to feel.   

Whether you’re choosing to give things up, or feel like the choice has been made for you, there will be grief.   

Be gentle with yourself and know that it will take time to let go, to settle in and to find the rhythms of your new space.

xo

Life is hard work.  

Whether you’re working to make life better, or just working to keep up, Life takes work.  Feeling overwhelmed by loss, grief or disappointment can make it hard to get up every day and do that work.

Whether we’ve been hit by one big loss or a string of smaller ones, everyone feels grief at some point in their life.    Yet far too often, just as we’re beginning to catch our breath after a loss, we’re told to “March Forward” without care or concern for whether we are ready yet.

Tired, exhausted, hurt, angry or afraid, we’re told to “Act Happy, Be Happy”, “Patch Yourself Up and Keep Going” because “The show must go on!”

… and what a show it is. 

The parade of life continues and the people in our lives march happily along, as long as we keep our fake smiles in place.

Unfortunately, no one has ever healed a broken heart by denying that it exists.

Fake smiles mask broken hearts and what grieving hearts need most, is a chance to heal, with whatever time, tools and compassionate support they need.

It is up to each of us to decide when we’re going to step out of the world’s parade and let our own mental and emotional health, lead us forward. 

Grief Recovery is here for you, when you’re ready to heal.   xox

Valentine’s Day is yet another opportunity for the world to say:  “Everyone Else is Happily Paired up” … and if you’re not paired up, or no longer paired up… (Or you’re Unhappily paired up!)  life can feel particularly harsh and lonely this month.    Please be gentle with yourself as the 14th approaches.

When it feels like your heart has broken into a thousand tiny pieces with only the thinnest band, holding you together, the smallest thing can feel like one too many.

This month, please give yourself as much gentle kindness are you can.

Your heart has been through enough. 

 xoxo

“Happy New Year!”

Will 2026 be a happy year for you?  

Every year has the potential to be a happy one but regardless of the intentions we have and the resolutions we make on January 1st, every year is guaranteed to include at least a little joy and a little pain. Even if it is a year full of fabulous firsts, there is bound to be changes that bring loss and maybe grief because loss and grief are each a part of life. 

We get a new job… and leave our old friends.

We move to a new place… and miss the old familiar.

We meet someone… and miss the time we used to spend on ourselves.

We lose someone… and we miss a million little things we never knew we would.

Day in and day out, grief and joy are intimately tied together by the flow of life. 

What makes a year a good one, is our ability to move past the losses, the griefs and the sadness.

What makes a joyful person, is their willingness to do the work required, to get past those things.

When we are unwilling or unable to confront our grief, it leaves us unable to access the joy in our lives and life becomes a drab existence in the mucky middle-ground.

Whether you are unable because you do not have the tools, or because you need better emotional supports, Grief Recovery can help.   

People think that Grief Recovery is only for those who have been hobbled by grief… but it’s also for those, who simply want more Joy.  

This year, get the tools you need and do the work with the support you deserve.

Learn how to recover your joy…
… or maybe discover it for the first time. 

Make 2026 the Happiest year you’ve ever known…

What do you do when you feel alone during the holiday season?   Or worse, when you’re around people who tell you that you “shouldn’t feel alone” and that “you’re not alone”. …. in spite of the fact that you Do Actually Live Alone!

The answer is:  you be kind to yourself and honest with yourself.  (and stay away from those people)

Emotions are Messy and the holiday season is chock-full of triggers for emotions, there’s no doubt about it… and there’s also no doubt, that you feel what you feel.   Even when other folks don’t like it.

There will always be folks who want us to tidy up and hide our emotions instead of showing them.  They don’t want to, or don’t have the tools to deal honestly with emotions and would rather that we put ours away, rather than remind them of what is still unsettled and messy in this world.  So do your best to stay away from those folks… and do your best to be honest with yourself this holiday season.

If you feel like crying, have a cry.

If you’re tired, have a nap.

There is very little this holiday season that won’t survive you taking a bit of time for yourself.

Treat yourself gently.

Treat yourself well.

… and tell the truth about how you’re feeling.

Your feels are real.

Everything else is just a bandaid to cover what other folks don’t want to deal with…

xox

No one wants to see a kid hurting but the truth is, life brings bumps and bruises and loss … and kids get hurt just like adults do.

Unfortunately, too many of us grew up in homes where children’s losses and children’s hurts were mocked and minimized.  We were told that we’d know what real hurt felt like when we grew up…  If that’s what you were told, you may never have seen healthy examples of how to heal, or even how to express your hurts appropriately.

So how do you help your kids when they’re hurting now?

How do you do better than your parents did?

The truth is, you can’t help your kids if you don’t know how to help yourself because kids learn by watching us.    

Grief Recovery teaches adults the steps to take to heal from disappointment, heartbreak and loss, so that parents, teachers and grandparents can show their kids how to live healthy lives and help them heal when life delivers it’s inevitable bumps, bruises and heartbreaking losses. 

      xoxoxox

Sometimes you learn a thing late in life and when the impact of it hits you, all you can think of is how different your life world have been, if you’d known this new thing way back when…

You think about the years lost believing things that you now know to be untrue… and you feel angry at the people who taught you the untruths.    And then you feel angry at yourself for believing the untruths and for trusting the people who told them.

It’s easy to become lost in a cycle of anger, grief, regret, shame and could’a, would’a, should’as…

That’s where grief recovery comes in, it takes you through the steps of untangling the anger, blame, shame and the could’a, would’a, should’as.

Grief Recovery teaches adults how heal their hearts and move on after loss.

Life is a continuous string of learning curves.  Just as you get a handle on one thing, life pushes you into the next.  

When our babies graduate out of a stage and into something bigger, whether it is kindergarten or college, many of us grieve.  In that moment, we know that whatever comes next, parenting will never be the same again and we feel a loss…

Right now some kids are sad because their vacation is over…  and some adults are too!    Some kids are sad because they’ve been separated from their best friends at school.   (and many parents are worried because their kids are back with friends who seem like bad influences… ).       Some are sad because the youngest child has finally moved out and the house feels quiet as a tomb.     (and some college students are sad because mom has already turned their old bedroom into a crafting space!)

Parents and students alike can feel overwhelmed by the coming crush of to-do’s that will lead us into the end of the year.   

No matter who is grieving, or what they are grieving, it all matters.

Sometimes change feels great but not always…

Sometimes there is warning… but not always.  

Almost always, the feelings that hit us hardest, come without warning.

September is a big month for change.

Be gentle with yourself. 

  xox

We all know that nothing is forever, life changes and everything ends.   Yet time and again, we are surprised when it happens. 

A new friend of mine was offered his dream job recently.   He is taking his chance and moving away to pursue his dream.  And I feel heartbroken.

As happy as I am that he has found a foot-hold into the work he has dreamed of, I am bereft at the loss of him in my life.   Because while he was here, he changed me.

With patience, knowledge and kindness he opened my eyes to information that I had never understood before and it changed my life.

He taught, I listened and learned… He explained and I made changes.   In a few short weeks I came to rely on and look forward to his support.  … and now it’s gone.

Sometimes a person comes into your life for one brief flashing moment and makes more impact than some who have been there from Day One.  

We can never predict who will make a big impact.

      … when we lose someone who has changed us, we grieve.   xox