Canada Day…

Canada Day.

… a long weekend …

post covid or mid covid.  (No one knows for certain yet…)

What you know is that you’ve lost someone and life feels immeasurably changed.

Please be gentle with yourself, you deserve kindness.

xoxoxox

It’s not a race…

We are put on this earth for an unknowable amount of time…   Covid has confirmed for me that many of us are squandering far too much of the time we have here.

At the end of life, people often regret working too hard, being too serious, overlooking the fun bits.

What will you regret?

Why not change now while you still have time?

xox

3 years later…

Three years ago I packed my bags and moved to Oshawa.  
… as often happens, that first year was nothing like I expected.
 
Just as I was getting my feet under me, covid arrived and it changed the world,
… and then it changed it again and again and again.
 
It has been an exhausting and tumultuous 3 years.
 
As Ontario drops masking requirements and occupancy limitations, the world is once again beginning to look like it did when I arrived here.  It feels like everything and nothing has changed…
 
As things shake out and we find our new normal I’m looking forward to meeting you in person.
… stay tuned for details of times and places and classes and schtuff.   xox

 

Grief and hope… or not

There are those who believe that hope is the saviour of all.

And yet… sometimes it is the act of losing the last shred of hope, that propels us to change.   It is only when we have no hope left that we finally give up on magic solutions and begin to act in ways that were unthinkable while we still hoped things would turn around.

As a teacher, Labour Day always held more meaning for me than New Years Day but even so,  I’ve always watched to see what each new year would hold and until this year, I’ve always had hope that the new year would bring bright and shiny things.   

But this year my hope is gone.   Covid used it up.    I am dreading cold and flu season this year because it will bring terror to people who fear that it’s so much more.   I dread the news reports and the possible return of restrictions.   I dread the fighting and acrimony that has risen up around covid, it’s precautions and the vaccines.  

I don’t see a bright and shiny future ahead even though there will likely be one.   Because no matter what we feel on our darkest days, the future usually turns out bright.  

Right now, from where I sit, the brightest possibility I can imagine is the possibility that this might be our last year of fighting this pandemic.  Much more clearly I foresee the ravages left behind once covid packs it’s bag and moves on.   I see people bruised from this pandemic .   I see that our system has been broken and that it needs to change and I see a whole lot of turmoil as we build something new.

I see a mess coming and from that mess, hopefully something healthier.

So maybe I have hope after all.  xox

Stay well.   xoxo

 

I wish you kindness…

It has been a long, hard two years.

Covid has changed the world and folks are stretched thin.

Each time covid surges tempers become shorter and folks behave badly.

(as folks always will, when stretched too thin for too long…)

 

I do not know what the future holds, or how long covid will continue but as this year winds down I wanted to wish you Kindness.

Until the world rights itself again and we can all walk together without fear, I hope you find pockets of kindness that fill your soul.

xoxo

Words matter…

When you look at the picture above, you might see a tranquil path.   Or you might see the dark and terrifying unknown.   Whatever you see and feel is yours, there is no right or wrong here.

I have run into a few people lately, who want to edit the way we talk about covid, as though there is only one right way.    They say:  “the words we use matter!”   and they are right.   But in thinking that they know What the Right words are… they are wrong.

 

When we talk about a spat between friends as if it were war, we may be adding tension and chaos to a situation that could be easily resolved.

But when we do the opposite, when we call war a skirmish, or peacekeeping, or a conflict, we minimize the pain and terror of those who are engaged in the battle.

Sometimes, diminishing a thing with our words is the very best thing we can do, to help us get through a tough time.

Other times it diminishes the work and fear and struggle that we put in.

 

Whether healthcare and other essential workers are on the front line of a war… or whether they are simply doing their job, can only be determined by each individual.   Only they know what it costs them to go to work each day… only they know how it has or will change the course of their lives.

Events like this pandemic, can change the course of history.   They can change how our jobs, lives, marriages and finances move forward…   They can change things drastically for the good and catastrophically for the bad.   Only those who are touched by each, have the right to say what it was for them.

Please stop speaking for others.

Please stop assuming you know what anything is like for anyone other than yourself.

Own your fears, pains and your triumphs equally.

You have lived and you deserve respect and recognition for every step that you’ve been through.

So does everyone else.

xox

 

 

Suddenly it’s September…

Suddenly it’s September and the heat of summer is fading.  Vacations are winding down while school and work are ramping up again.   It seems surreal that covid stopped the world, changed our plans and ate, the better part of two years.

As we lurch back into the routines of work and life I wish you all the best that life has to offer.   After living through covid I understand better why our ancestors began celebrating birthdays and milestones, I understand better how fragile life can be and the importance of celebrating the wins.

No matter what you’re doing this September, please be gentle with yourself.

Celebrate the wins.

xoxoxoxo

 

 

 

 

 

Not So Close!

 

We thought it would be a relief.

 

We were looking forward to getting and giving hugs again…

but now that we can, many of us don’t feel safe doing it.

 

For 16 months it was drilled into us:

“Distance and Masks will Keep Us Safe.”

 

For 16 months the world we knew changed,

… and it kept on changing.

 

Now, the one thing that was constant through it all,

the one thing that promised us safety… is changing.

 

As you look around you can see streets becoming busy again. 

People who got their second vaccine are starting to trust that it worked.

 

People are getting together with those they haven’t seen in months.

They are venturing out without masks…

People are Hugging again.

 

For 16 months the folks in the know said:  

“Keep your Distance and Wear your Mask.”

 

Now they’re saying:

“You’ll be fine.”

 

It feels like we’ve been waiting eons for this day,

and now that it’s here… we feel fear.

 

It’s Hard.

It’s Scary…  

We Want Hugs

     … and we’re afraid.

 

All of these feelings are normal. 

 

Change brings grief

and grief looks different for all of us.

No matter what you’re feeling, please be gentle with yourself.

xoxoxoxo

 

 

 

 

 

Fresh starts and re-starts…

The last 18 months have been a rollercoaster.

All those resolutions we made as we rolled into 2020, about clear-sightedness and crystal clear intentions.    The metaphors for perfect sight were everywhere… and yet most of us were blindsided by covid in 2020.

As 2021 dawned some had hopes for a better year but sadly, covid was not done with us yet.  As Ontario tip-toes up to the end of our latest lockdown, we are hopeful that enough people have been vaccinated and hopeful that enough will act responsibly enough that we won’t have to do this again…

 

It’s hard not to be skeptical.

It’s hard to believe that this might be the end of covid for us.

 

Yet we need hope right now, more than we ever have…

 

It’s hard to know what to do.  

How much caution do we need to retain?

How much celebrating can we do?

Is it really over?

 

Life seldom turns out exactly the way we expect it will…

 

Grief Recovery helps make sense of it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where is Your Enough?

We live in a fast-paced, competitive world, amidst the constant refrain of:

“Do More, Be More, Have More, Get More…”

“Learn the latest trick and and Do it all Faster and more Profitably than you’ve ever done before.”

 

We’re even promised that we can Relax More, Rest More, Retire Earlier…  all these riches hinge on getting stuff done now, getting it done well and making the right choices.  (whatever those might be)

 

But what about Enough?

When have we done Enough?  

When is it time to stop and rest?

 

The answer is different for everyone, every day.

 

What I know for certain is, too few of us are stopping to ask ourselves:  “Have I done enough?”

 

Covid has locked us in, put our lives on hold, put our loved ones at risk and put a lot of our choices out of reach… and many of us are acting like it’s life as usual.   We don’t know how to stop the striving.

 

This is your permission to slow down.

Or Stop.

Or take a nap.

The world will continue to spin.  

I promise.  xoxo

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