I found a new nest.
That means I won’t be living with friends and family this summer. It means instead that I can get started on my new life. It also means saying goodbye to a good number of the things that I have lovingly accumulated these past 15 years as I feathered my nest here.
The new place is small. One third the size of the floorspace I have here to be exact… not counting the workshop and garage spaces and all the tools therein.
I can hear the tsk’ers now saying:
“things don’t matter, people do”.
Which really means: “Don’t feel bad”, “Don’t grieve”
To those tsk’ers I say:
It’s okay to admit that things matter. Things that share our lives become imbued with memories and parting with them can be as bittersweet as parting with the friends and neighbours we have come to know and love.
Grieving is a messy and unpredictable thing. When a loved one dies we can find ourselves dry-eyed and unmoved through the funeral but days later, bawling helplessly over their stinky sock drawer. So it is with moving. The friends who are real and true will remain friends and we will bridge the new distance, so it doesn’t always feel sad to think about moving away from them. But some piece of art or furniture that I hunted for, saved for and now have to leave behind… That part of the packing process can bring feelings of real sadness as I say goodbye to the dreams that I had of living with and enjoying those pieces.
Grief is seldom what we expect it to be. I’m grateful to have the Grief Recovery process to help me find my way through. xo